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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Blogging My Me Time

Something that I have seen among some bloggers is their pendulum swinging to the extreme far right when it comes to their position in their family. It usually happens when someone has made them feel so guilty for having personal interests outside their families, that they feel they have to give up everything so they can care for their homes better. I'm ALL FOR keeping a tidy home. If my home gets too far behind I go nuts and no one in my family likes when mommy goes nuts. But I'm not in support of mommies having nothing outside of cleaning baseboards, washing mud off shoes, and slaving over the kitchen stove.

As a woman of faith, they may be informed that their home is the priority and I can understand that and I do believe the same way. Our homes and families are a priority in our lives. But let's challenge ourselves a bit so we can find balance and freedom in that. If we view our homes and families as our 'careers' as we view our husband's jobs as their careers then does that mean he also must work 24/7? If a mom and wife is to commit all her life to the home and family then does that mean the husband must commit his whole life to his place of employment?

Doesn't the dad get to come home at night and rest, enjoy the family and maybe go golfing a couple times a month?

What about mom?

A mom's job is never over. Her shift doesn't end at 5pm. Mom wakes up with her feet hitting the floor running full speed ahead before her feet actually even hit the floor. She doesn't stop until she pillows her head at night and even then her mind is making the next days' priority list before she can fall asleep.

If the husband worked his job overtime all his life what kind of a man would that make him for when he is at home?

Over worked
Grouchy, maybe?

Daddy gets to come home, put his feet up and watch some sports, or read the paper, perhaps enjoy a good book. Every night. Typically the husband spends a few hours on Saturday to mow the lawn, check the fluids in the family van, and clean the garbage barrels out. But the rest of the time is his to enjoy as he pleases.

So, a mom might want some time a few hours a week to go to a Scrapping Event, a Pampered Chef party, or out for coffee with a few friends.

Or perhaps mom wants to blog. And if mom's blog is a money maker, she is still working. But if she enjoys this in her free time, then she deserves that 'free time' to blog.

Yes, we need to prioritize that time well. With all the work a mom does it could become a temptation to spend more time on blogging than she really needs to, but perhaps she is overwhelmed and needs some escape. Maybe blogging is her "Me Time" where she can rest, enjoy some funny mom bloggers, catch up with friends through Twitter, or continue her knowledge of how to homeschool better. Maybe she reads blogs for her spiritual time with the Lord as she ponders the inspiration from Ann Voskamp, Emily Freeman, or Serena Woods.

So don't let the legalistic trap yoke you into bondage of no "Me Time". A mom NEEDS her "Me Time", just like daddy does. It's ok to have some time to refresh ourselves, so we can come back to the home and family life and be encouraged to continue on in our domestic careers.

In my free time I enjoy:
Coffee at a cafe with friends (by the way my best friends are my daughters)

What do you enjoy?
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8 kind words:

Cara November 13, 2010 at 12:32 PM  

This is a great and balanced post. I'm not a fan of 'me time' being the focus of life, but it's okay to do something that we enjoy, even if there is laundry to be done!

The Proverbs Wife November 13, 2010 at 1:07 PM  

I remember becoming overwhelmed with the duties of family life. I told my husband how I felt overworked. The first thing he said to me was this "You are your own boss and if you are overworked than you should fire yourself". After that he sat down with me to create a less insane homemaking schedule. He is a gem and encourages me to blog. Knowing that he supports my blog time helps me remained balanced in the time I dedicate to it.

Melissa Stover November 13, 2010 at 1:59 PM  

blogging is my me time. it's sometimes a money maker too if i'm doing a blogher campaign. it's also a way for me to connect with friends and other moms who are in the same boat i am.

Sherrie November 13, 2010 at 2:36 PM  

I think finding the balance IS difficult! We have many jobs as moms and one job starting seems to bleed over into the last job ending. I've never really bought into the "you deserve it" mentality but you hit the nail on the head when you said that about daddy's working overtime. They DO get tired, overwhelmed and sometimes even grouchy. As moms we truly need to take some time for refreshing. Whether it's blogging or napping or snapping photos or reading a magazine. We've got to do something to remind us that there is an individual "inside" that was there long before we became moms. And she'll be there long after our children leave the house. We need to embrace motherhood with all the gusto we can manage but also have moments of remembering who we are other than being moms. No guilt in that!

Excellent post!

Anonymous,  November 13, 2010 at 5:49 PM  

Sooo agree. In fact, I wrote a post that will go up at (in)courage about this a bit.

I used to think "me time" was selfish and I felt guilty for ever engaging in it.

But once I finally did, I realized just how refreshed and refocused I was when I came back. It is a necessity in order to be the best mother and homemaker, I think.
Like you said, just don't over do it and use that as an excuse. But certainly moms need to make time for themselves as well. It's vital to being better at what we do.

tea November 13, 2010 at 7:29 PM  

I agree. There have been times when I've started to feel guilty for blogging, but it is something I really enjoy. It gives me time to myself during naptime and after my son and husband are asleep. It's also a creative outlet that doesn't leave me with a mess to clean up, and it allows me to share in the lives of others.

I found your blog through picket fences. Thanks for sharing. :)

Anonymous,  November 13, 2010 at 7:43 PM  

Love this!! Whenever I feel overwhelmed or stressed, the very first thing Jason'll usually tell me is that I need to take some ME time. And it always does the trick :-)

Sharon December 29, 2010 at 4:07 AM  

This is a good post. Just yesterday my hubby told me he WANTS me to spend more time blogging. :-) as long as I can keep up with the normal 'stuff' of laundry, school and food on the table etc. I am going to schedule more blogging time into this coming year.

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