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Friday, January 14, 2011

I'm Not a Leper

Thank you to all of you who took me up on my offer to swap buttons. I have a few spots left if anyone is interested. 

I am working on a new Family Blog Networking project through Pix-O-Sphere. I was just so tired of seeing bloggers suffering from not being able to afford to buy ad space on larger blogs. Without getting too detailed about it all and without going overboard on complaining about it I decided to do something about it. I do hope you'll keep an eye out for details about that. I need to finalize some things this weekend and get connected with a few other seriously motivated friends to help launch this fantastic opportunity for you all.

 Now onto something more personal.

And I have always tried to be uplifting in all my blogging, but if you've followed me for a while, you have seen me open up more. I'll be brutally honest with you.. I'm not perfect church wife. I'm not plastic Barbie blogger. I live a real life with real heart aches and ranting is inevitable. I will work hard to not complain too much on my blog, but sometimes I really need to just get some things shared on here and get support from my friends. I'm not always going to inspire you..sometimes I might make you angry or annoyed with me..I don't know.. don't we all have our moments?

I have been sharing some things on my Facebook wall over the last two years, working through issues and trauma I suffered when leaving some places in my community. I have chopped through the 'doctrines' I was taught before and found such peace in being able to question things I was formerly not encouraged to question... so now that I have found my freedom in Christ and the freedom to question..why oh why does it still perturb me when so called former friends ignore me in public?

Even when I was in those places before, and other friends left.. when I saw them in public I was thrilled to see them and stop for a chat. But now that I left.. why do the ones I was closest to, go out of their way to ignore me? It sends me into PTSD all over again. I walked down an aisle at the store..and started crying again.. I want to move. Until we can move out of this town, I will only shop when I know they are in church services. It is the only way I can avoid the awkward snubbing and fake grins from across the store as they rush into a crowded aisle to avoid me. I'm not a leper, for crying out loud.

And in all fairness, not everyone from my former ministries do this to me. But the ones I loved most, do. It's painful and awkward. If you're in a church and people leave..please don't put them through this. It's ok if people don't want to keep going to the same church. Let it go and love them. Be happy for them. And if you're a person of prayer, can you hold up my friend Elizabeth? She had a rough day at church recently.

And I think I'll leave you with this to ponder. Christians being killed... can't we all just get along?

Yes, I think I will only shop on days I know they're in church. Such a small town.

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4 kind words:

Erin @ The Little Apartment January 15, 2011 at 9:39 AM  

Hi Sisterlisa,
I'm not sure all that you went through with your old church, but I can relate a lot with your feelings of being "shunned". Ten years ago, I was unmarried and working at a ministry when I landed myself in a whirlwind relationship and ended up pregnant. I left my position but still live in the community. I am a Christian, but everyone of my old friends still will have nothing to do with me. I felt unwelcome going to church with them, even though I tried to do what was right in my circumstances due to my decisions. Does it make me less of a Christian? No.. but is certainly gives me a new perspective on what the church in this community feels like to "outsiders". It's sad really. I hope and pray that you will find strength to live in that environment, I know it isn't easy. Thanks for being so honest, it's nice to know "your not the only one". (Is this a weird comment?!) (:

ape2016 January 15, 2011 at 11:24 AM  

I think some church goers in their insecurity and ignorance mistreat people that make choices they are afraid of making. I was attending a church in my town for about 6 months, but I don't have a vehicle and the church was too far to walk. Now, they did have a van that would pick us up and drop us off, but I felt pressured. When someone was ill and we couldn't attend, they acted disappointed in me (lots of sighing, hanging of heads and foot shuffling). I had a kidney stone attack one day and couldn't sit still through the service. The kids and I had to walk home and I decided that it was just too much and decided to give the kids and myself a break from what had become an obligation. I got a final visit from one of the pastors and he acted like he pitied me, but also like I had somehow become someone he couldn't talk to, like I was trash all of a sudden. It makes me hesitant about bothering to find another church, because I would rather not deal with a bunch of jerks and just teach the kids about being decent Christians at home. I think one of the biggest problems with many churches is how they shun and judge those who don't conform to their idea of the 'good' Christian.

Sisterlisa January 15, 2011 at 5:25 PM  

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, ladies. Have you noticed this phenomena is getting worse?

Lois of January 21, 2011 at 10:28 PM  

You know what?
I also agree that it is good to let people worship God at a new church! It may be painful at times but freedom freedom freedom!

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